Being Safe and Disabled
A few months ago, I was having the worse muscle spasms I have ever experienced. It felt like my body was being torn apart. My right and left leg felt like they were competing in a game of tug of war. My toes had suddenly gained independence and decided to go their separate ways and my jaw tightened and locked preventing the saliva from passing. My body would jolt from the pain and scream as an attempt to channel the hurt. Guilt washed over me as I saw the fear in the eyes of my children, I hated being out of control. My role as a mother was one that was supposed to invoke comfort, security, unconditional love. It was not, not tonight, tonight I was causing them pain and insecurity. I decided to be responsible and go to the ER. My aunt drove while my body continued to torture me. I check in at around 11 p.m. in this very familiar hospital in downtown Detroit. My spasms are so severe that I am immediately taken to triage.
A doctor comes and asks me what is happening. Soon after I begin to tell him, he loses interest and begins to tune me out. He tells me that I will receive pain medication shortly. My body didn’t care that the medication would arrive soon. As if being controlled by an angry person taking out their frustration on a voodoo doll of me. My back throbbing, all four limbs being yanked in different directions. Without being able to detain it, my right leg goes over the railing and onto the top part of the service desk. A doctor runs over and yells at me to lower my leg, I loudly explain that I can’t, I reassure her that I am not in control of my body. She takes my legs and forcefully holds me down. The pain of her forceful action extends beyond my right leg into my entire body. I scream at the doctor to let me go. She refuses and enlists help from the nurses around. After I continue to advocate for myself and plead that they stop holding me down. This plea was met with a loud call over the P.A. system for security. They called security on me! Being in excruciating pain was met with a call for security. In disbelief, with my legs still thrashing violently, I desperately pleaded that I did not need security and explained that the medication was urgently needed. Thankfully security had sympathy for me and went away without escalating the situation.
This is something that should never happen. In my experience, the people that we are told are trained to help and protect us, don’t. I was discharged while still being in pain and unable to stand straight up and walk without my body jerking. This experience was just one more time that the misunderstanding of my disability caused me to be treated worse than an animal. One that made me angry at my body and my inability to be what the world was comfortable with. I left the ER limping and excessively thanking the powers that be, that I escaped what could have been a very terrible situation. I hope that you or a loved one never experience a situation remotely close to it. It is always best to be prepared, I am including links to websites that provide resources and information on steps you can take to be safe.
https://www.cerebralpalsy.org/resources/government-resources/safety
https://policebrutalitycenter.org/interacting-with-police-if-you-have-a-disability/
Talking with Police: How People with Disabilities Can Stay Safe and Get Accommodations They Need