Decisions

I am tired, very long week. Two sick kids, one non sick child who is desperate to be with friends. The one very sick child is also desperate to be with her friends. There are a lot of options here. I am very tired, overwhelmed in fact. Allowing them to go with friends would allow me a much deserving break. However, when one claims the responsibilities of a role in life, one must do it well in the best interest of those the one is serving. In this case, I am the one. After the no’s were distributed, the moans and groans came tumbling my way, like and angry toddlers ripping through a small crowd desperately looking for the comfort of a familiar caregiver. I thought about what was in the best interest of everyone involved in the situation. My kids needed rest so they can heal their sore throats, runny noses, coarse and red from the cheap scratchy store brand tissues. If they were not home, I couldn’t take them homemade chicken soup, nurse their slight fevers, hand them the much softer name brand facial tissues that were sure to sooth their noses. If they were not home, I could breathe, like really breathe, a full inhale and exhale. Without the constant interruptions calling me to break the fights over who got more juice and whose turn it was to wash the dishes. Without them at home I could better tackle the loads and loads of laundry separated but not washed, washed but not yet dried, dried but not folded, folded but not in the drawers and hangers they call home. Without them home, they would go into someone else’s home. Taken with them, coughs, sore throats, and not so coarse looking noses. Now somewhat resembling Rudolph’s red nose, shiny from the Neosporin I’d put on it earlier. My kids would talk, play and eat and consequently gift their germs to some other very tired caregivers’ home. Who because of me and my decision would become sick or must take care of others who have caught whatever my kids had. Today, I am the one, the mean one, the one who has repeatedly said “no, you have to rest”. For me, parenthood is a very important leadership role. It’s scary, confusing, and exhausting. So often I am absorbed in loving, guiding, leading them that good decision making seems impossible.

            I think a lot about my role as a self-advocate and the leadership that comes with it. How similar yet opposite this role is from my parenting one. Here I get to love, guide, lead myself.  Hoping to be so confidante that it’s contagious enough to invite others to fight the good fight. I love researching how we can improve ourselves with science. Knowing how our bodies and mind work and things we can do to improve our quality of life and the impact we chose to make.  In a August 2021 article by PBS North Carolina it’s reported that “as your level of responsibility increases, so does the multitude of choices you have to make. It's estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day. Each decision, of course, carries certain consequences with it that are both good and bad.” That number was shockingly disturbing to me. It almost gave me an anxiety attack, all of those decisions where I could be responsible for something good or bad! I had to take a deep breath and shift my perspective. This was a gift. We have about 35,000 gifted moments of impact in a day.

            I have included an Harvard Business Review article on how to make good decisions quickly. I hope you find it useful and encourage you to feel empowered by the decisions you make and change you can create. Go forward and claim your power!